It's official. I'm a noob >.>
Basic rookie mistake of business, not counting the number of damn 0's. Scammed for 50 million gold in Diablo 3. *sigh* Yeah, my own fault.
And the second time, another guy trades me a collateral of the same worth. Yup, that sounds good. Then this guy says "Return the collateral, I need the gem to check my DPS" so I reply, give me 15mil, if you don't want it I'll return it. Well, need to protect myself right. Then he says 10mil. Well... as expected, I lose 5 million.
Why am I just so STUPID and naive. Yeah, not everyone honours their word if they can get away with it. Welcome to the real world! As if I didn't know that already... Yet, why do I continue to do such stupid things?
Honour is such a burden at times. Yeah, everyone will say "Dammit Nic, are you an idiot? There exists no such thing as honour where business is concerned. It's just a damn game!"
Well... Yeah, but I won't change who I am. It's easy to do the right thing when the law writes it clearly that if you do "Insert bad thing here" you get punished. But I believe that it's the small things that show your character.
Yeah, I'm an epic fail...
I don't believe in the Christian God, but I do believe in A God, whatever he is, I don't know :P Regardless, I believe the small things define one's character. Maybe God doesn't care about games, but I still believe that the small things matter.
But yeah... I'm going to need a darn good lawyer when I enter business. I guess in business, stuff like this won't happen as often because all of it will be on paper, but I better start to be careful too.
My honour is a burden, but I carry it gladly. I will live my life based on my honour, for it is the only thing that I will be able to take with me when I pass on. I may not necessarily live by God's rules, but I will live by the Law and what I feel is right.
At the end, I guess that's what I want. To be able to look into the eyes of the judge of my afterlife and say "I lived by my principles, and I died by them. I may not have always done the right thing, but I did was I felt was necessary, and I have no regrets about my choices."
After all, hindsight blurs our judgment of the present. I may not have the 65 million gold that I wanted. But hey, I've got 16million and my honour. The guys who scammed me probably are just laughing at the idiot, but eventually... I believe this anyway... that all things done in life, big or small, will be judged in the end.
But for now, yeah, down to 14million gold after a bit of shopping. Still a good amount to have :D Being an optimistic idiot is a good thing, heh.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Actually Earning my CPL Rank
When I put on my uniform yesterday, on the 23rd of December, as I was putting my rank on my uniform, I suddenly felt some pride.
Why? NDU, Commando and Guardsmen Corporals definitely should have their pride in their rank. They go through shit and crap. The rest of us? We just have to clear our IPPT in order to get a Corporal rank. I don't have the privilege to wear a beret. All I have is a stupid cap with the cap badge on it. Well... I earnt the badge, but the rank wasn't really something I felt that I earnt... Until now.
Well... Men expect a few basic things under their Sergeants. We don't have very high expectations of them. At the very least, you should make an interest in our welfare, and not let us suffer because of something you did/did not do. Under normal circumstances, those are the basics.
When shit happens, we look to Sergeants for leadership. When shit happens, at least take it without complaining, because when the Men see you complaining, how do you think we feel? We feel even more fucked up. Being a commander isn't easy. But still, those are the basics.
And those basics have been completely violated.
Basically, shit happened, and we were under-strength. We call him to ask him to fix the damn problem. But apparently, he's at the gym and doesn't want to be disturbed. In the end? Senior Corporal (Me) and Corporal First Class (My friend.) end up covering his ass for him, otherwise, my new guys would have suffered a lot.
After he comes back? He starts to ask about why his duty became longer and why we Men changed the schedule without his permission. Why never answer your phone? KNN...
The next day, more shit happened. I did a grand total of 14 hours of duty, my CFC did 12 hours. The 3SG? 9 Hours. Early morning, my Sergeant Major, already recognising how useless my 3SG was, gave instructions to myself and the CFC. In most other countries, it would be considered an insult to the 3SG, since that was denying the Sergeant the privilege of rank of withholding the information from the men. In Singapore, its not really an insult, because we take it as less work to do.
So, as I started to give instructions, telling people what time to go and rest and what time to come out for duty... He got pissed off, "Don't ask me, just ask him la!" then he walked out. Huh. If you don't want your superiors to give your job to your apparent "Underlings" then you better do your damn job well in the first place.
I secured at 2000, after ten hours of duty since 1000h. I thought "Huh, last 4 hours of my birthday to myself at last..." Yeah, i got my four hours, then got another 4 hours of duty when the 3SG decided his sleep cycle was more important than any of his men. He added MORE hours to me, from 0200-0600, and went to sleep. His next duty? 0700. He got a full night's rest, and why? The 3SG's privilege wad... Shit happen and supposed to secure at 0200, instead he grabs the man to do the extra duty for him...
Thank god my ORDed officer called. For 9 months he inspired me, and even after he ORD, he continues to do so. He called me to ask what was going on, and then encouraged both of us seniors to continue doing whatever we were doing.
That helped so much because when I went out at 2am, I heard the 3SG wanted to give us extra because we were rude, disrespectful and disobeyed his orders.
OMG I was so ANGRY.
Anyway, I didn't get anything, and the 3SG was removed from his appointment... So all's well that ends well. :D
Why? NDU, Commando and Guardsmen Corporals definitely should have their pride in their rank. They go through shit and crap. The rest of us? We just have to clear our IPPT in order to get a Corporal rank. I don't have the privilege to wear a beret. All I have is a stupid cap with the cap badge on it. Well... I earnt the badge, but the rank wasn't really something I felt that I earnt... Until now.
Well... Men expect a few basic things under their Sergeants. We don't have very high expectations of them. At the very least, you should make an interest in our welfare, and not let us suffer because of something you did/did not do. Under normal circumstances, those are the basics.
When shit happens, we look to Sergeants for leadership. When shit happens, at least take it without complaining, because when the Men see you complaining, how do you think we feel? We feel even more fucked up. Being a commander isn't easy. But still, those are the basics.
And those basics have been completely violated.
Basically, shit happened, and we were under-strength. We call him to ask him to fix the damn problem. But apparently, he's at the gym and doesn't want to be disturbed. In the end? Senior Corporal (Me) and Corporal First Class (My friend.) end up covering his ass for him, otherwise, my new guys would have suffered a lot.
After he comes back? He starts to ask about why his duty became longer and why we Men changed the schedule without his permission. Why never answer your phone? KNN...
The next day, more shit happened. I did a grand total of 14 hours of duty, my CFC did 12 hours. The 3SG? 9 Hours. Early morning, my Sergeant Major, already recognising how useless my 3SG was, gave instructions to myself and the CFC. In most other countries, it would be considered an insult to the 3SG, since that was denying the Sergeant the privilege of rank of withholding the information from the men. In Singapore, its not really an insult, because we take it as less work to do.
So, as I started to give instructions, telling people what time to go and rest and what time to come out for duty... He got pissed off, "Don't ask me, just ask him la!" then he walked out. Huh. If you don't want your superiors to give your job to your apparent "Underlings" then you better do your damn job well in the first place.
I secured at 2000, after ten hours of duty since 1000h. I thought "Huh, last 4 hours of my birthday to myself at last..." Yeah, i got my four hours, then got another 4 hours of duty when the 3SG decided his sleep cycle was more important than any of his men. He added MORE hours to me, from 0200-0600, and went to sleep. His next duty? 0700. He got a full night's rest, and why? The 3SG's privilege wad... Shit happen and supposed to secure at 0200, instead he grabs the man to do the extra duty for him...
Thank god my ORDed officer called. For 9 months he inspired me, and even after he ORD, he continues to do so. He called me to ask what was going on, and then encouraged both of us seniors to continue doing whatever we were doing.
That helped so much because when I went out at 2am, I heard the 3SG wanted to give us extra because we were rude, disrespectful and disobeyed his orders.
OMG I was so ANGRY.
Anyway, I didn't get anything, and the 3SG was removed from his appointment... So all's well that ends well. :D
Friday, December 25, 2009
As of December 26th, 2009. I truly regret a single thing.
Oh god, I wish I could take it back. I didn't mean for it to become like this. Dear lord... I wanted some of the memories out of my life, but I didn't want her to disappear completely! I... I was an asshole, I was the hypocrite. I keep complaining about proud people who never admit that they're wrong, and I let my own ego and pride get in my way.
I may have been the nice guy in the relationship, but at the end of it, it was me who was the asshole. Not her. Never her. I was the bastard. Oh god, why did I do it? Yet, I know. I let my anger, my depression get the better of me, and I made myself to be a total asshole.
I don't want her to take me back. All I want is her forgiveness, which she probably won't give. I deserve it. I returned most of the notes that she gave me. I returned the hearts which she spent so much time folding. I returned them all back to her.
I'm a total jackass. And she's not giving me the chance to let me apologise. She has every right to do that. She's blocked me off msn, I probably deserve that too. All I can do is probably wait for PJ to help me ask. God... Why did I do it.
I may have been the nice guy in the relationship, but at the end of it, it was me who was the asshole. Not her. Never her. I was the bastard. Oh god, why did I do it? Yet, I know. I let my anger, my depression get the better of me, and I made myself to be a total asshole.
I don't want her to take me back. All I want is her forgiveness, which she probably won't give. I deserve it. I returned most of the notes that she gave me. I returned the hearts which she spent so much time folding. I returned them all back to her.
I'm a total jackass. And she's not giving me the chance to let me apologise. She has every right to do that. She's blocked me off msn, I probably deserve that too. All I can do is probably wait for PJ to help me ask. God... Why did I do it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Words of Wisdom from someone whom I have considered to be a relatively great friend.
[20:11] <@jola> [19:47] <@Ward_Point> but you still have ways to go... as do I <-- Everyone has a way togo as far as this wise-ass-and-affiliated-crap is concerned. Age doesn't demarcate wisdom. Rather, it's whatyou want to do with your life. What you want to do might not be the right thing; treat life as a bladder full ofurine -- some people just choose to piss their life away.
[20:13] <@jola> The good thing about it though is that you can always make more urine. Sometimes(thismight apply to the issue at hand), a second chance is what you really need, cause only then you'll know totreasure it wholeheartedly and never make the same mistake again. Ever.
[20:17] <@jola> So.. if life gives you lemons, you take the zzap out of the lemon juice and use it to build asuper-lemon-zzapper gun to zzap lemons subsequently thrown at you. And the thing is, each zzapped lemonhas its essence -- er, zzap taken out of it and transferred to your gun. So you grow stronger. To cut this lohsoh nonsense, cheer up and get over it.
Words of wisdom from a guy who's only 15. The Internet is full of surprises. Go take KI in JC, Jola. They'll love you.
Hope of the day: Essentially, what the above says. I hope everyone will step up to any challenge that comes up to them and stay strong.
[20:13] <@jola> The good thing about it though is that you can always make more urine. Sometimes(thismight apply to the issue at hand), a second chance is what you really need, cause only then you'll know totreasure it wholeheartedly and never make the same mistake again. Ever.
[20:17] <@jola> So.. if life gives you lemons, you take the zzap out of the lemon juice and use it to build asuper-lemon-zzapper gun to zzap lemons subsequently thrown at you. And the thing is, each zzapped lemonhas its essence -- er, zzap taken out of it and transferred to your gun. So you grow stronger. To cut this lohsoh nonsense, cheer up and get over it.
Words of wisdom from a guy who's only 15. The Internet is full of surprises. Go take KI in JC, Jola. They'll love you.
Hope of the day: Essentially, what the above says. I hope everyone will step up to any challenge that comes up to them and stay strong.
Monday, October 19, 2009
What kind of girls would you like, Shunsui?
“What kind of girls do YOU like, Shunsui?”
“Girls with freedom in their eyes.”
It’s not a direct quote, since I can’t remember the exact page where I read this from. Credits for this goes to the author of Second Manuscript. Go check it out on my links! It rocks!
But I was talking to her recently, and the fire I remembered is gone. She laughs, like anyone else, but there’s no more freedom left in her eyes. She’s resigned to things that come her way.
People change, whether you like it or not. ZJ, you definitely think a lot more than you let on. Tell me why you didn't take KI again? Common sense FTW!!
Maybe it's just be trying to comfort myself, but I don't think she’s the girl I fell in love with any more. Maybe… I’ll get over her more easily. Maybe it's just me deluding myself. Well... whatever goes, right? Heh.
It seems that SAJC teachers really understand a lot more than they let on. Did Ms Yeo tell her anything? I dunno. But Miss Wong seems to sense some frustration underneath... Ms Yeo probably told her about me being rather depressed, so I could understand the first part...
I'm good natured? Uh huh... I don't really think so... or is it maybe that I don't want to admit it? I never liked holding grudges, that's for sure... But maybe I've forgiven her for just dumping me just like that? We haven't talked, but I really hope we can talk after my A's. I've looked our entire relationship over, and it seems that for the last week of our relationship or so, she was the one avoiding like plague.
Miss Wong seems to tell me to let my heart guide my actions. Maybe my heart is telling me to move on. No, actually, that's what my head is telling me. But if so many people are telling me that, the Law of Large Numbers dictates that they have a point.
Thanks, ZJ. When I asked you, "Why do we work so hard?" I never expected you to answer "So that we don't regret it." Everyone keeps telling us to work hard, then list a huge list of material things... We don't work hard for material things... At least, I don't want to. I want to work hard because I don't want to regret wasted chances. At least, if you know that you've tried your best, you'll be happy and content. Being happy and content is what really matters, not just having everything you could ask for. Money can buy anything materialistic, it can assist you in finding happiness, but true happiness can be found without the money...
Maybe that's just my naive innocence speaking. But I really want to believe that. Being cynical and sarcastic about life will make life uber-depressing. Life already sucks, and that's why I laugh at the small things. After all, if you don't laugh at the small things, life is seriously going to suck.
We really need to get working on that Bleach Character quiz, you know? Right, Captain Kyoraku? You are SO him, ZJ. I'm still undecided between Rukia and Shinji, though. Who fits me better? Maybe Shinji? Who hides all that he feels behind a mask of total deadpan "My first love"...? Heh. Maybe I hide behind a different kind of mask, though.
One last thing, a few weeks back, I was particularly depressed. So I took a long, slow walk down to tuition. I stopped to cross the road, happening to look down. At that same moment, I thought. "C'mon, Nic. Life isn't so bad. You've still got Vic, ZJ and ZH to talk to. There are tons of new experiences waiting." Then I saw this shiny new $1 coin on the road.
Heh, maybe someone up there has a sense of humour. Christians call it fate, but I would like to believe in a more... "humanised?" God? Maybe he's laughing at the practical joke that he made, as I try to figure out what it meant? That's an interesting thought *Laughs*
I don't agree with everything the Christians say in the Bible, but I believe that there IS a God which represents all that is good. Of course, one must always give thanks for the small things in life which make it so fulfilling.
Here's the Hope of the Day:
1) Here’s a toast, a toast to life, and despite how crappy it might be, let’s not be too cynical about it.
2) I Hope that in whatever we do, we work hard not because of the reward waiting at the end, but because we don't want to regret it. Maybe this is a paradox... But it's a paradox of the sort that I want to believe the better part of it.
“Girls with freedom in their eyes.”
It’s not a direct quote, since I can’t remember the exact page where I read this from. Credits for this goes to the author of Second Manuscript. Go check it out on my links! It rocks!
But I was talking to her recently, and the fire I remembered is gone. She laughs, like anyone else, but there’s no more freedom left in her eyes. She’s resigned to things that come her way.
People change, whether you like it or not. ZJ, you definitely think a lot more than you let on. Tell me why you didn't take KI again? Common sense FTW!!
Maybe it's just be trying to comfort myself, but I don't think she’s the girl I fell in love with any more. Maybe… I’ll get over her more easily. Maybe it's just me deluding myself. Well... whatever goes, right? Heh.
It seems that SAJC teachers really understand a lot more than they let on. Did Ms Yeo tell her anything? I dunno. But Miss Wong seems to sense some frustration underneath... Ms Yeo probably told her about me being rather depressed, so I could understand the first part...
I'm good natured? Uh huh... I don't really think so... or is it maybe that I don't want to admit it? I never liked holding grudges, that's for sure... But maybe I've forgiven her for just dumping me just like that? We haven't talked, but I really hope we can talk after my A's. I've looked our entire relationship over, and it seems that for the last week of our relationship or so, she was the one avoiding like plague.
Miss Wong seems to tell me to let my heart guide my actions. Maybe my heart is telling me to move on. No, actually, that's what my head is telling me. But if so many people are telling me that, the Law of Large Numbers dictates that they have a point.
Thanks, ZJ. When I asked you, "Why do we work so hard?" I never expected you to answer "So that we don't regret it." Everyone keeps telling us to work hard, then list a huge list of material things... We don't work hard for material things... At least, I don't want to. I want to work hard because I don't want to regret wasted chances. At least, if you know that you've tried your best, you'll be happy and content. Being happy and content is what really matters, not just having everything you could ask for. Money can buy anything materialistic, it can assist you in finding happiness, but true happiness can be found without the money...
Maybe that's just my naive innocence speaking. But I really want to believe that. Being cynical and sarcastic about life will make life uber-depressing. Life already sucks, and that's why I laugh at the small things. After all, if you don't laugh at the small things, life is seriously going to suck.
We really need to get working on that Bleach Character quiz, you know? Right, Captain Kyoraku? You are SO him, ZJ. I'm still undecided between Rukia and Shinji, though. Who fits me better? Maybe Shinji? Who hides all that he feels behind a mask of total deadpan "My first love"...? Heh. Maybe I hide behind a different kind of mask, though.
One last thing, a few weeks back, I was particularly depressed. So I took a long, slow walk down to tuition. I stopped to cross the road, happening to look down. At that same moment, I thought. "C'mon, Nic. Life isn't so bad. You've still got Vic, ZJ and ZH to talk to. There are tons of new experiences waiting." Then I saw this shiny new $1 coin on the road.
Heh, maybe someone up there has a sense of humour. Christians call it fate, but I would like to believe in a more... "humanised?" God? Maybe he's laughing at the practical joke that he made, as I try to figure out what it meant? That's an interesting thought *Laughs*
I don't agree with everything the Christians say in the Bible, but I believe that there IS a God which represents all that is good. Of course, one must always give thanks for the small things in life which make it so fulfilling.
Here's the Hope of the Day:
1) Here’s a toast, a toast to life, and despite how crappy it might be, let’s not be too cynical about it.
2) I Hope that in whatever we do, we work hard not because of the reward waiting at the end, but because we don't want to regret it. Maybe this is a paradox... But it's a paradox of the sort that I want to believe the better part of it.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
And you still DARE show your face in front of me? You still dare to talk to me? Still dare to ask me why the hell I'm treating you like you don't exist?
I don't think you're even ashamed, are you? You went behind my back, did all those kinds of shit. And I bloody TRUSTED YOU! I trusted you with her! If she hadn't told me, I wouldn't ever have known.
How dare you even get angry with me. How dare you try to attempt to blackmail us just to get a chance?
After what you did in December 2008, neither of us particularly liked you. And after you blackmailed us, neither of us are your friends any longer.
Denise and I are over. If she won't take me back, what makes you think she'll take you? You're just a selfish bastard who thinks that material possessions are everything. None of us asked you to spend the money. In fact, we all asked if we could pay you back.
So you did all that stuff with an ulterior motive in mind, huh?
Go straight to hell, Imran. I never want to see your face again.
I don't think you're even ashamed, are you? You went behind my back, did all those kinds of shit. And I bloody TRUSTED YOU! I trusted you with her! If she hadn't told me, I wouldn't ever have known.
How dare you even get angry with me. How dare you try to attempt to blackmail us just to get a chance?
After what you did in December 2008, neither of us particularly liked you. And after you blackmailed us, neither of us are your friends any longer.
Denise and I are over. If she won't take me back, what makes you think she'll take you? You're just a selfish bastard who thinks that material possessions are everything. None of us asked you to spend the money. In fact, we all asked if we could pay you back.
So you did all that stuff with an ulterior motive in mind, huh?
Go straight to hell, Imran. I never want to see your face again.
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